First Tango In Tynemouth

I am feeling ridiculously proud of myself. Tonight, I did something I have never done before, but have wanted to do for a long time. I had my first tango lesson! 


Looking back I can't remember the first tango I ever saw, but it's a dance that has always given me that "ooooh I want to do that" feeling whenever I've seen it. One of my main reasons for watching Strictly Come Dancing has been to see Vincent and Flavia dance the Argentine Tango. Simply amazing. 





So tonight I went for my first lesson with Angie and Andi of Tango-on-tyne . I'd emailed them in the week with my nervous questions. Did I need to wear special shoes? I have two left feet, can you really teach me to dance a tango? Despite a very reassuring and humourous reply, I turned up tonight feeling very very nervous! It didn't help that I was the first one there... 

That'll teach me for being early! 

Angie, the teacher, was great very quick to put me at my ease. There were 3 other beginners there plus some "boys", as Angie kept referring to them, who came along to help out at the beginners class. 

Angie spent some time taking me through the basic move, making me walk in hold and become used to being led. Apparently, I "over think things" ... erm.. yes... that's me! After a while she, plagued the lovely Chris to partner me and he was fantastic, very, very clear and encouraging. We had to keep swapping partners...  In the space of one hour I've had hold of more men than I have in years! It was a bit disconcerting, as I'm so short I've done a lot of staring at shirt buttons and in one case a rather nice, slightly muscular bit of chest! :-)

I'm pleased to say, I actually felt like I was dancing! I didn't fall over. I did make mistakes, but everyone was so lovely and supportive it was fine. I even did a front and back "ocho"... 

I walked home from the class with a smile on my face, I am so proud of myself for doing something new and I loved it, I didn't feel totally inept or like a baby whale on the dance floor and yes,  I am going back next week! Number 17 will be crossed off this year!!

Fear is the mind killer...

A pretentious title to today's blog, but that quote from Frank Herbert's Dune seemed appropriate today.

I woke up feeling so down and low it was unreal. Crawl back into bed, pull the duvet over my head and hide from the world down. Feeling very alone. Very unloved. Very useless. 

I postponed the try scuba dive, using the excuse of needing to see the doctor re the medical questionnaire, which I do. However, deep down, even as I made the call, I knew it was an excuse. Thinking about it this afternoon, made me realise why I'd not done the things on my list earlier in my life.

I have been scared. Scared of trying something new. Scared of looking stupid. Scared of people laughing at me. All my old insecurities. If I am going to start crossing things off The List I am going to have to conquer this fear. It's not even fear of the actual challenge (ok the bungee jump & sky dive are making me a little nervous), but more the fear of what people will think. I can hear the mocking voices, "Oooh look at that old fat lass, what does she think she is doing?" and that's the polite version. 

Thirty-fecking-nine years old and I still worry about what other people think. Ridiculous. It's definitely time I stopped being so concerned. I'm never going to be cool, I can only be me. Fear is what has always made me find excuses to do things. Stopped me from trying new things, not pushing myself hard enough. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

A walk along the beautiful beach near my flat gave me time to think and clear my head and think about why I wrote The List and why I am blogging about it. I need to do these challenges for me. As simple as that. The blog is my way of pushing myself to do it, so I don't just hide The List away in a drawer and forget about it!

New plan: tackle The List in chunks. Pace myself so I don't freak out again. This week:

1. Have some more rehab on the hip (monday)
2. Begin tango lessons on Tuesday 
3. Do a couple of C25k runs
4. Make a doctor's appointment to get my scuba dive medical form signed
5. Re-book the try-dive.

I can do this. I will do this. I may not manage everything on The List, but I be damned if I'm going to let fear and what other people think stop me. 

My favourite quotation, attributed to Mark Twain: 

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Number 20...

I couldn't think of a number 20 when I originally wrote The List. Despite some great suggestions from my Twitter friends, nothing seems to quite fit. Then last night inspiration struck... keep it simple.


So here is my list challenge:


20. Say yes to more things. 


By this I mean to be a little braver and get out there and try stuff I previously would have gone "no" to or never considered, or worst still talked myself out of. So the first yes, is to my gig buddy, who is doing his best to shake me out of my comfort zone when it comes to music, I will go see Rammstein!

Progress....

Progress has been made with The List!

Number 2: Rejoin the gym and go 3x a week

Yesterday I rejoined the local council run gym and had an induction. My niggling hip injury flared up after 5mins on the treadmill, so I adjourned to the pool. 20 lengths swum, no problems, bar the odd twinge of my hip and being unable to see a thing without my specs on!  

I've also booked in for some classes this week, starting off gently with Pilates, Yoga and I am going to give Body Combat a go. I don't do anything "dance-y" as I lack the required coordination!

Number 3: Run 5km

The hip rehab sessions began properly today, I was assessed last week by my fantastic P.T., Spencer Davey of Storm Fitness, who told me off for being a lazy sod (my translation, not his actual words, as Spencer has a fine range of head shakes and tutting to express his displeasure!) 

I'd had 'dodgy knee' a couple of years ago and Spencer rehabbed it for me. My right knee pronates and I'd got lazy last year, using the excuse of a shoulder injury to stop all exercise. As a result, the knee had weakened again. With beginning the C25k training (Couch to 5km running programme) the weakness in the knee was now causing pain on the side of my right hip. Honestly, kids don't get old, and don't get lazy, you'll suffer for it!

I should have known what I was in for. Spencer may look a mild mannered individual, but I get away with nothing. I mean that in a good way though! I am the laziest person in the gym, as soon as it gets tough I will happily quit, but with The Evil One standing over me I can't! 

5 minutes on the rower, was followed by a circuit of exercises that had my legs shaking. No let up. Just lots of encouragement. Had to have "QI release" ... nothing to do with Stephen Fry and his Elves, just sheer agony. I'm ashamed to say I did flinch. A lot.  

I bitch, whinge, moan, grumble and swear(!) a lot, during sessions at Storm, but in all serious the P.T.s there are fantastic and there's no one I'd trust more to sort out my niggles. 

Number 15: Become a healthy weight

I rejoined Weightwatchers just before Christmas, but hadn't really got fully organised or into the plan. I do love the Weightwatchers plan, as nothing is banned, if I want it, I can have it, but I have to point it. Lists of banned foods don't work for me,as soon as I'm told I can't have something, that's all I want to eat.

This last week I was determined to sort things out. I planned my meals and my shopping. I have switched from coffee to herbal teas at work to cut down on the caffeine and the amount of milk I was using. I've cooked meals from scratch and most were edible, although I did chuck out the rest of the Bigg Market Pavement Curry, see below, looked like vomit, didn't taste much better!

 

I even tracked 3 of the days, my Weightwatchers leader was so proud of me! Basically, I've eaten as clean as I could manage, the odd bar of chocolate doesn't count does it? 

The result? A stunning 5.5lbs off. 

I couldn't believe it! I do not expect to lose that every week, in fact I'd be concerned if I did.

Current weight: 10 stone 8lbs

Goal weight: Around 9 stone 3

Number 16: Learn to scuba dive

Try dive is booked for Sunday with the folks at Aquanorth in Newcastle, bargain at £25. Have to say I am a little nervous!

Number 8: Skydive / parachute jump

I priced this one up... seriously ouch £250 or so... save up my pennies time I think or find a sponsored skydive to take part in! You'd sponsor me wouldn't you? Apparently they can record the skydives, just think of the comedy value of that dvd!

That's all for now... I'm glad I've started ticking things off. If you've suggestions / recommendations or can help me sort out any other the others on the list please let me know! 

Cheers!

Mally x

The List...

Valentine's Day- a day which has always been a bit of a non starter for me, so this year, in an effort to ignore the "oh god I'm single on Valentine's Day again" bemoaning I began plotting...

To be perfectly honest the initial germination of the list began back on New Year's Day, with a general resolution not to be fat and forty at the end of the year. The List (capitals are required) simply expands on this.

I turn 40 in December (start saving your pennies I expect big, sparkly presents) and the horror of it is freaking me out a bit! I mean, seriously, when the feck did I get that old? In my head I'm ambling along at 29 or so, where the last 10 years went I don't know etc... etc...

It's dawned on me I've done bugger all for me in the last 10 years, it's all been about re-training to be a teacher, scrapping together a living on supply and then working my arse off when I found that permanent post. All I've seem to have done for 10 years is mark books, plan lessons and watch too much rugby. Now it's time think what else I want to achieve.

The List

1. Arrange tweet-ups with some of the lovely people I've been talking to over the net and to make sure I catch up with old friends.
2. Re-join the gym and actually go 3 times a week.
3. Run 5km.
4. Learn to surf or at least have a lesson.
5. Ride a motorbike, pillion will do!
6. Go on a hot air balloon ride.
7. Have a track day. I want something FAST and sleek! Ferrari or Aston Martin!
8. Do a sky-dive or parachute jump.
9. Do a bungee jump.
10. Climb to the top of a mountain. A small mountain will do!
11. Kiss a man in uniform.
12. Go to a German beer festival. Prost!
13. Do the Great North Run - could be problematical depending on how the training for Number 3 is going!
14. Have a **** ;-) ..... well it does kind of follow on from number 11!
15. Become a healthy weight, so I can wear a smoking hot frock and killer heels for my 40th!
16. Learn to scuba dive.
17. Dance a tango.
18. Visit the Tower of London (random addition but I'm a history nerd).
19. Watch rugby at the Millennium Stadium.

I did want a nice round number but couldn't think of a number 20... all suggestions are welcome!

I will hopefully post updates and pictures (tho not for number 14!) as the year goes on! It'll either be a raving success and I will emerge from my rut or I'll wuss out and not do any of them, but as they say nothing ventured nothing gained!